The thing about 'not all men' is it's something men bark at people who are lashing out at the group that's hurting them. Trying to separate themselves and remove any affiliation.

All it does is tell those people to shut up while doing nothing to change the structures that allow toxic masculinity to continue that original victimisation. Step in and tell fellow men to stop, that it's not ok, instead of telling people, especially women, you're not like the others so how dare we get angry about it.

@sophia I agree with your call to arms against toxic masculinity. Everyone should fight against it wherever encountered.

I want to highlight one point though:
If we're saying "it's the group - men in general - that are doing this" we're using the same argument as toxic men, namely that this behavior is just what men do/defines men. This is certainly wrong in my bubble, I hope it's wrong in yours as well.
I think a better argument would be to not claim it's the group of men in general, but a minority within that group. This has two benefits in my eyes. 1/3


@sophia a) We don't have to argue with men who aren't toxic and who feel themselves unjustly accused. This saves everyone's energy and makes it easier to get them on board instead of motivating them to join the other side or stay on the sidelines. 2/3

@sophia b) It doesn't play into the argument of toxic men. With non-toxic men on board it becomes very apparent very quickly, that this behavior is inconsiderate, not as it should be and frowned upon by both genders.
Turning this into a battle between genders is a bad idea. 3/3

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