The thing about 'not all men' is it's something men bark at people who are lashing out at the group that's hurting them. Trying to separate themselves and remove any affiliation.

All it does is tell those people to shut up while doing nothing to change the structures that allow toxic masculinity to continue that original victimisation. Step in and tell fellow men to stop, that it's not ok, instead of telling people, especially women, you're not like the others so how dare we get angry about it.


@sophia I agree with your call to arms against toxic masculinity. Everyone should fight against it wherever encountered.

I want to highlight one point though:
If we're saying "it's the group - men in general - that are doing this" we're using the same argument as toxic men, namely that this behavior is just what men do/defines men. This is certainly wrong in my bubble, I hope it's wrong in yours as well.
I think a better argument would be to not claim it's the group of men in general, but a minority within that group. This has two benefits in my eyes. 1/3

@sophia a) We don't have to argue with men who aren't toxic and who feel themselves unjustly accused. This saves everyone's energy and makes it easier to get them on board instead of motivating them to join the other side or stay on the sidelines. 2/3

@sophia b) It doesn't play into the argument of toxic men. With non-toxic men on board it becomes very apparent very quickly, that this behavior is inconsiderate, not as it should be and frowned upon by both genders.
Turning this into a battle between genders is a bad idea. 3/3

@ctrlaltchaos @sophia
I am gonna go ahead and hope this is a Po given that you didn’t actually write all three awful posts on this.

If this is earnest, I don’t believe you when you say that none of your friends have bad behavior wrt women. They just don’t necessarily tell you about it, and you probably don’t notice much of it either.

@AudreyJune I chose my friends wisely. I know people who have bad behavior towards women (and bad attitudes towards women in their absence). Those people get to hear appropriate comments from me on the occasion.
I never said this wasn't occurring. In fact, I myself have been on the receiving end of toxic masculinity in my earlier years. Turns out, males not conforming to other's ideas of what a man should be, suffer under that stereotype as well.
What I said was: It's hopefully not the majority of men in your environment. There is a cultural and generational element to this I guess. YMMV

Awful huh? So, do you care to give me any arguments as to why you think my ideas are so worthless?

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